Ten Crawlmandments

The Ten Crawlmandments

1. Respect the host nation’s laws and culture

All travelers should endeavor to not offend their hosts and most importantly honor and obey their legal codes as well as social norms and etiquette. Plus bail money is a drain on our budget.

2. Do not reinforce negative stereotypes about your own culture

The purpose of the Long Crawl is to break down cultural barriers that exist between nations and their peoples. All travelers are standard bearers of their countries and should seek to provide a more diverse and enriching example of their nationalities. If you want to be a gun slinging, God fearing America, go to Texas not to Stockholm. Remember these people already assume you to be obnoxious.

3. Blog everyday

At least one member of the Long Crawl will keep the world informed of the group’s activities on a daily basis – hangovers not withstanding.

4. Keep a journal of your own thoughts. Journal entries are not to shared with other travelers.

The journal shall serve as tri-cornered opinion piece of the Long Crawl and thus must be kept separate in order to encourage the recordings of diverse interpretations of events and locations. If we wanted one point of view we’d listen to Bill O’Reilly

5. Immerse yourself in the local culture and avoid tourist traps

The purpose of the Long Crawl is to investigate, experience and report on the true local cultures of nations rather than engaging in stereotypical ‘westernized’ holidaying. If you want to hang out with another loud mouth westerner go to Hawaii and stand on imported Australian sand.

6. No Douche Baggery

Simple and clear. No-one likes a douche bag. We’re trying to break down cultural barriers, not reinforce them with steel.

7. Get Belligerently Drunk at every destination

This is a bar crawl not a bar stroll. If you can stand up straight you aren’t trying hard enough.

8. Respect and uphold the sanctity of Uniform Code of Long Crawl Justice

You break it you bought it.

9. Leave the readers with a better cultural understanding of the host nations

Remember our audience are made up of idiots. Pander to them.

10. No Whining! There’s No Crying in Baseball!